How to Recognise and Support a Loved One with an Eating Disorder
By Michael, Eating Disorder Dietitian
I’m Michael, an Accredited Practising Dietitian who has worked in eating disorders for many years now. In that time, I’ve supported people at every stage of the journey, from those just starting to notice a difficult relationship with food, to those needing intensive support.
Eating disorders are complex and often overwhelming, not just for the person experiencing them, but for the people who love them. If you’re worried about someone close to you, you might not know what to look for, how to raise it, or what kind of help is actually useful. This is what I’d want you to know.
Signs of an eating disorder
Eating disorders don’t always look the way people expect. Someone doesn’t need to be visibly underweight, or avoid food altogether, to be struggling. Some signs to watch for:
- Preoccupation with weight, body shape or appearance
- Strict food rules, like cutting out entire food groups or rigid eating patterns
- Constant thoughts about food, excessive time spent planning meals, or guilt after eating
- Negative body image or frequent body-checking
- Increased anxiety around mealtimes
- Avoiding social situations involving food
- Physical signs such as swollen cheeks or dental issues linked to frequent vomiting
- Compulsive exercise, including exercising through illness, injury or exhaustion
- Rapid weight loss or frequent weight fluctuations
- Loss of menstruation or other hormonal changes
- Fatigue, dizziness or fainting
Eating disorders don’t discriminate. They affect people of every gender, age and body size, and eating disorder support is warranted even without a formal diagnosis if food is affecting someone’s physical or mental health.
How to start the conversation
Noticing disordered eating in someone you love is one thing. Raising it is another. These conversations rarely go exactly as planned, but approaching them with care makes a real difference.
Educate yourself first. Understanding how eating disorders present will help you feel steadier going in.
Pick the right moment. Choose a time they’re relaxed and away from distractions, not mid-meal or in front of others.
Lead with concern, not judgement. Instead of “you need to eat more,” try “I’ve noticed you seem really tired and withdrawn lately, and I’m worried about you.”
Steer away from food and weight talk. Focus on mood, behaviour or energy levels instead.
Prepare for any reaction. They might feel relieved, deny it, or respond with frustration. It can take time before someone’s ready to open up, and that’s not a sign you’ve done it wrong.
If they do acknowledge they’re struggling, gently encourage professional support. Early intervention makes a genuine difference to recovery.
Why an eating disorder dietitian matters
Working with a dietitian who specialises in eating disorders is often a crucial part of recovery. An eating disorder dietitian can help by making sure someone is eating enough to support their body’s needs, challenging rigid food rules and improving variety, working through fears around specific foods, preventing or treating malnutrition, and tailoring an eating disorder plan to the person’s needs, preferences and medical history.
Recovery is rarely food alone. I work closely with GPs, psychologists and mental health professionals so clients get full-spectrum, collaborative support, because eating disorders touch far more than what’s on the plate.
Where to get help
If you or someone you love is navigating an eating disorder, support is available:
- Butterfly National Helpline: 1800 ED HOPE 33
- Eating Disorders Queensland
- Lifeline Australia: 13 11 14 (crisis support)
If you’re looking for practical, evidence-based nutrition support from a dietitian who understands eating disorders, I’d love to help. You don’t have to navigate this alone, and recovery is genuinely possible.
This blog discusses eating disorders and disordered eating. If this raises anything difficult for you, please reach out to one of the supports listed above.
